I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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