I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
