They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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