Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Someone came in the potted fern
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
