did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she told me i tasted like america
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
