i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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