it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
