So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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