dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize