my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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