I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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