I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
