That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
