hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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