his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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