Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
