I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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