I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
