I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
