i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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