I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
