So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
