I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
