Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
