If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
