we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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