Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I need to align my fucking chakras
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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