I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
