I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
