Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
