Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I currently don't understand fingers.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
