I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
