I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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