i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
