I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
