u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Be still, my beating vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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