He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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