...so i touched it.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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