I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
should my penis look like a turkey
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
