Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it's great music for shaving your balls
Why is your signature on my underwear?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
