nut hugger
oh god the rape fog is back!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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