Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
