I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
