do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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