He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize