Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
