One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
