I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
don't judge my taste in strippers
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
