i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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