hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's shark week go big or go home
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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