Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you win again, gameday.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
