my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
