then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
