apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
