Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
