I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
