escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Drunk is not a location!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
