so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
