im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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