My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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