Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
