No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
